But God . . .

 The past few weeks had been difficult. I found myself about two heartbeats and breath away from tears nearly all the time - just a thought or two away from falling into what felt like an emotional abyss. I had looked full in the face what felt like every mistake and failure of my entire life and felt the full weight of shame and regret. I had been told I was weak for allowing too much and selfish for not allowing more by a variety of people about the very same situations. I felt harassed and ignored at the same time.

  And one evening I broke down.

 This was a full on physical and emotional break down. My whole body was shaking and tingling, I was nauseated and dizzy, the tears wouldn't stop. 

  But I don't post this as a poor me post, or for sympathy. I post this as a But God . . . story. Because I went to bed early that night, turned on a Christian radio station, and hung on to every word as if my life depended on it. I stayed there for 11 hours, resting physically when I could, and strengthening spiritually and emotionally when sleep eluded me. And by morning I knew this - the past few weeks had not been about any person(s) or circumstance(s). Instead these last few weeks were Satan's attempt to create a perfect storm in my mind to sink me. 

But God said, "Stand up, tell that storm to be still, and walk on that water, for I am with you! Make amends where you need to make amends, draw lines where you need to draw lines, always move in love, know that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, in everything give thanks, and choose life in word, thought and action."

  Satan likes to try to crate havoc in our mind.

 But God . . . gives peace, hope, strength, love and life.